I almost killed my wife yesterday.

The Crime Scene - 13th Hole, Rhode Island Country Club

Event - Alternate shot Mixed Club Championship

Victim - The beautiful Cheryl Andreozzi
Villain  - The not so beautiful David Andreozzi

Shot 1. - Cheryl has the tee.  David asks if he can take a picture during Cheryl's back swing. Cheryl reluctantly concedes, and then proceeds to top her drive into the shit forty yards up.  The short ride to the next shot was not very comfortable.

Shot 2. - David hit a 5 iron out of the rough, clean and straight... straight right heading into a hazard. It stops short in a clam shell cart path.

Shot 3. -  Cheryl takes relief no closer to the hole, and hits a brilliant shot that skirts the left side of tree line and almost gets free.... until it catches some serious wood, and bounces directly backward into the middle of a forested jail.

Shot 4. - David is 175 yards from the center of the green and he sees an opening.... about 30 yards up. From the dirt, David decides he can put the ball in back of his stance, punch a 90% 4 iron in a low screaming fade and get this bad boy pin high. A Perry shot if you will.  Problem number one is that unlike Greg Perry, I was not born with a horseshoe up my ass, and talent alone was not going to do it. I hit a clean rocket about 30 yards up (towards that little 6 foot wide opening I was referring to) and it hit a tree purely, and the ball rocketed back at the lovely Cheryl and literally smashed into our cart, directly into half open plexi window, heading directly at Cheryl bust. I mean her torso you pig, head high.  Cheryl, still reeling from dropping the drive the duf off the tee and hitting the tree hit her breaking point.  She proceeds to get out of the cart and her and Heidi Picc (a unfortunate nearby witness)  begin laughing so hard the tears were flowing and legs were crossed.  For me, not so good of a mood.

Shot 5.  - Cheryl laid up while still laughing... quite a tallent.

Shot 6. - I didn't keep my head down and sculled the next over the green into a 6 foot high bunker.

Shot 7. - Cheryl moves the ball 36" closer to the hole, with her next shot, but still in the bunker.


Shot 8. - David gets it out, but it rolls down off the green.

Shot 9. - Cheryl gets it up

Shot 10. - David take the 6" gimme and runs off the green in shame.